By Kimberley Preeper | Shine 9 Ministry
What if some of the greatest lessons God wants to teach us about leadership aren't found in the moments when everything is going well, but in the moments when things begin to fall apart?
I've been reflecting lately on the way we build relationships, the commitments we make, and the responsibilities we carry.
Whether it's in business, ministry, church leadership, or even within our families, so much of what we do depends on our ability to work together.
We all bring different experiences, abilities, personalities, and expectations to the table. We may share the same vision and genuinely want the best for one another, yet still find ourselves frustrated, disappointed, or struggling to move forward.
And sometimes, in those moments, I've found myself asking God a question:
Lord, what are You trying to teach me through this?
I'm learning that the answer isn't always about what someone else needs to change.
Sometimes, it's about what God is trying to change in me.
When Expectations Become Unspoken Agreements
Something I've come to recognize is how often we operate on expectations that have never really been discussed.
We ask someone to complete a task, follow through on a commitment, or take responsibility for a project.
In our own minds, we may have a clear picture of what that should look like.
But does the other person have the same understanding?
Have we actually talked about what needs to be done, when it needs to be completed, and what each person is responsible for?
Or have we simply assumed?
I've certainly been guilty of assuming.
And when things don't happen the way I expected, frustration can follow.
But I'm learning that an expectation isn't necessarily an agreement.
This is especially important when we're working together in ministry or leading others. We can have the very best intentions, but if we haven't taken the time to communicate clearly, those good intentions can lead to misunderstandings.
Proverbs 15:22 (NKJV) reminds us:
"Without counsel, plans go awry, But in the multitude of counselors they are established."
I believe there's wisdom in slowing down long enough to listen, ask questions, and make sure we're building toward the same purpose.
Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is simply make sure we understand one another.
God Didn't Create Us to Build Alone
One of the beautiful things about the body of Christ is that none of us was created to do everything.
We have different gifts, different strengths, and different callings.
In 1 Corinthians 12:12–27, Paul compares the church to a human body. Though it has many members, each with a different purpose, they all belong to one body.
In verses 18–19 (NKJV), Paul writes:
"But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. And if they were all one member, where would the body be?"
I love that picture.
It reminds me that God didn't design us to compete with one another or to measure everyone's contribution by the same standard.
He created us to need one another.
And sometimes, as leaders, we need to recognize that someone may have a wonderful heart and a genuine desire to serve, but they may not be serving in the role best suited to their gifts.
That doesn't make them less valuable.
It simply means we may need to take the time to discover where their abilities can be most fruitful.
The same is true in business, ministry, and our churches.
Rather than asking only, "Why isn't this person doing what I expected?" perhaps we should also ask, "Have I taken the time to understand how God has equipped this person?"
That's a different way of looking at leadership.
Instead of simply assigning responsibilities, we're helping people discover where they can grow and contribute.
Leadership Begins with a Servant's Heart
Jesus gave us a very different picture of leadership than the world often does.
In Mark 10:43–45, He taught His disciples that greatness in His Kingdom is found through service.
Jesus Himself said in Mark 10:45 (NKJV):
"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve."
Think about that.
The One who had all authority chose to demonstrate leadership through humility, compassion, and service.
That's a powerful example for anyone entrusted with responsibility over others.
Whether we own a business, lead a ministry, serve on a church board, or supervise a team, our position should never become more important than the people we're called to serve.
But servant leadership doesn't mean avoiding difficult conversations.
It doesn't mean allowing confusion to continue or overlooking responsibilities that aren't being fulfilled.
Sometimes serving others means lovingly helping them recognize where change is needed.
And sometimes, it means being willing to hear that same truth about ourselves.
When Things Break Down, What Is God Revealing?
I've been thinking a lot about what happens when plans don't work out, commitments aren't fulfilled, or relationships become strained.
Our natural response can be frustration, disappointment, or even discouragement.
But I'm beginning to see that these moments can also reveal something important.
A breakdown may show us where communication has failed, where expectations were unclear, or where someone needs additional support.
It may also reveal something within our own hearts.
James 1:2–4 reminds believers that trials can produce patience and spiritual maturity.
That doesn't mean every difficult situation is good or that God asks us to ignore wrongdoing.
But it does mean that even through difficult experiences, God can teach us something valuable.
I've been asking myself:
Am I responding with patience or frustration?
Have I listened before forming an opinion?
Am I more concerned with being right than doing what is right?
Am I willing to accept correction?
Am I allowing God to shape my character through these challenges?
Psalm 139:23–24 (NKJV) has become a meaningful prayer for moments like these:
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting."
What a humbling prayer.
It's one thing to ask God to change our circumstances.
It's another to ask Him to change us.
Speaking the Truth in Love
One of the harder lessons in leadership is learning how to speak the truth when it may not be easy for someone to hear.
I think we can sometimes fall into one of two extremes.
We either avoid a difficult conversation because we don't want to hurt someone, or we become so focused on correcting a situation that we forget the person standing in front of us.
Neither approach reflects the fullness of Christ's example.
Ephesians 4:15 calls us to speak the truth in love.
And 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 reminds us that love is patient and kind, is not self-seeking, and rejoices in the truth.
What stands out to me is that love and truth were never intended to work against each other.
We can be honest without being harsh.
We can establish accountability without humiliating someone.
We can disagree without becoming enemies.
And we can offer forgiveness without pretending that nothing needs to change.
This applies just as much to our churches and ministries as it does to our workplaces and homes.
Healthy relationships need both grace and truth.
Building Trust Through the Little Things
Trust is something we often talk about, but I've been reflecting on how it's actually built.
It doesn't happen simply because we say we trust someone.
It grows through consistency.
When we keep our word.
When we follow through on commitments.
When we acknowledge mistakes.
When we admit we don't have all the answers.
And when we show others that they can depend on us.
Jesus taught in Luke 16:10 (NKJV):
"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much."
I believe this principle applies to so many areas of life.
Sometimes we want to give someone greater responsibilities because we see their potential.
But perhaps part of loving and developing people is allowing them to grow through smaller responsibilities first.
We can encourage, teach, mentor, and support them as their confidence and abilities develop.
Trust isn't built by expecting perfection.
It's built by creating opportunities for faithfulness, learning, and growth.
And as leaders, we must remember that the same standard applies to us.
Our Everyday Work Is Also Our Ministry
One of the most meaningful realizations for me is that ministry doesn't begin and end when we walk through the doors of a church.
For many of us, the people we encounter throughout our workweek may never attend a church service.
But they see how we treat others.
They notice how we respond when things go wrong.
They see whether we keep our promises, whether we treat people fairly, and whether our actions reflect the faith we profess.
Colossians 3:23 (NKJV) says:
"And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men."
That changes how we look at our everyday responsibilities.
Our work becomes an opportunity to honour God.
Our conversations become opportunities to demonstrate grace.
And even our challenges become opportunities to reflect the character of Christ.
Jesus reminds us in Matthew 5:16 (NKJV):
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven."
I find that both encouraging and challenging.
Because being a light isn't simply about telling people what we believe.
It's about living in a way that reflects the One we believe in.
And that includes the moments when we're tired, stressed, misunderstood, or disappointed.
Perhaps those are the moments when our witness matters most.
Learning to Build Together
I'm realizing more and more that strong relationships and healthy organizations don't happen by accident.
They require intentional effort.
They require communication, patience, accountability, forgiveness, and a willingness to grow together.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us that two are better than one, because when one falls, the other can help lift them up.
And verse 12 tells us:
"And a threefold cord is not quickly broken." — Ecclesiastes 4:12, NKJV
I love the reminder that we were never meant to carry everything alone.
We need one another.
We need the wisdom and abilities God has placed in others.
And above all, we need Him at the centre of what we're building.
Whether we're leading a business, serving in ministry, raising a family, or working together within the church, I believe God is calling us to something greater than simply completing tasks.
He's calling us to grow in character, build meaningful relationships, and help one another become more like Christ.
A Personal Reflection
As I continue learning and growing in leadership, I know there are areas where I need to improve.
There are conversations I need to approach differently, expectations I need to communicate more clearly, and times when I need to listen more carefully.
There are also moments when I need to surrender my frustrations and simply ask God to help me see things through His eyes.
I don't believe growing in Christ means we suddenly become perfect leaders or that our relationships will always be easy.
But I do believe that if we remain humble and teachable, God can use even the difficult moments to shape us.
Philippians 2:3–4 encourages us to act with humility and to consider the interests of others, not only our own.
And that is the kind of heart I want to continue developing.
A heart that serves before seeking recognition.
A heart that listens before judging.
A heart that values people while remaining faithful to truth.
And a heart willing to acknowledge its own mistakes and make things right.
Because perhaps one of the greatest things we can leave behind isn't a successful business, a thriving ministry, or an impressive list of accomplishments.
Perhaps it's the people we've encouraged, the relationships we've strengthened, and the example of Christ we've shared along the way.
We aren't simply building organizations. We're building relationships, developing character, and leaving an example for those who come after us.
And that is work worth doing well.
A Prayer for Those Who Lead and Serve
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the people You've placed in our lives and for the opportunities You've given us to work and serve alongside one another.
Lord, teach us to lead with humility, to speak with kindness, and to act with integrity.
Forgive us for the times we've allowed our expectations, frustrations, or pride to interfere with the way we treat others.
Help us recognize the gifts You've placed in those around us. Give us wisdom to encourage their growth and patience to walk alongside them when things are difficult.
Father, where relationships have been strained, bring understanding. Where trust has been broken, show us how to rebuild it. And where changes need to be made, give us the courage to approach them with both truth and love.
Above all, Lord, continue to work within our own hearts.
May our businesses, our ministries, our churches, and our homes reflect Your goodness.
And may the people who encounter us see something of Jesus in the way we live, work, and serve.
In Jesus' precious name,
Amen.
Shine 9 Ministry | Faith in the Marketplace
Encouraging a faith that reaches beyond the church walls and into the everyday places where God has called us to live, work, and serve.
